This week I gave in and decided to hop on the bandwagon that is sarahah. For those of you who somehow haven’t seen this on social media, it’s a website and app that allow you to receive anonymous comments from your friends or coworkers. They are supposed to be “constructive.” I started one, completely expecting to receive some hate mail. I am not always the most loved person.
Anyway, it was lovely and full of kindness and even a secret admirer… until it got to the point that three people (and as I type this, I see another one has surfaced) had mentioned my drinking.
Now hold up one damn minute. Drinking problem? I take this really really fucking seriously. As the daughter of an alcoholic, I have seen some shit and I KNOW what alcoholism is. I have spent my entire adult life with the awareness that children of alcoholics run the risk of exhibiting the behaviors themselves. I? Do not have a drinking problem.
Let me break this shit down for you.
Alcoholism is often hidden behind closed doors. It is not a bunch of wine and tequila selfies on social media.
Alcoholism is waking up thinking about when you can have a drink. It is not having a cocktail every evening.
Alcoholism is frequently having relationship problems when drinking. It is not having a good time with your family and friends, drinks in hand.
I could go on and on. Quite frankly, I don’t have to fucking explain myself to anybody I don’t live with. The reason I am so angry about this is that there are people with a TRUE ALCOHOL PROBLEM and this really makes it sound like every person who enjoys alcohol has a damn “problem.”
Listen, I love alcohol. I really do. Particularly, I love craft beer, a good bottle of wine, Tito’s vodka, and good agave tequila. If I was an alcoholic and showed up to a party where there was only Bud Light to drink, I would drink it. But no – fuck that shit. If that’s all there is, pass me the water. This is because I like the TASTE of good libations. I mean, of course the way it makes me feel is for sure a bonus.
Here’s what you need to know if you are truly concerned and not just jealous and bitter that I do what the fuck I want:
I drink 6-7 nights a week on average. Sometimes it’s one drink, sometimes it’s a bottle of wine (which if you aren’t a wine drinker may sound like a lot, but ask wine lovers. I promise they finish the bottle most of the time). I went several days without a single drink last week. And nope, didn’t sit around thinking about it or anything.
I day drink mimosas on the weekends and when I’m on vacation at the beach.
99% of the time, I am drinking at home with my guy, not driving around like an idiot.
I spring out of bed early every morning, pour a cup of coffee, and join a productive society. Sometimes (like once or twice a month) I have a single watermelon shandy while I work during the kids’ nap time. It’s usually dinner time or later when I want a little low carb margarita or glass of rose. Sometimes I have a single refreshing watermelon shandy while I work during the kids’ nap time.
I drink so slowly that Stuart often teases me about it. It can take me 6 hours to finish a bottle of wine.
When you see pictures on social media of my drinks, you are seeing a small slice of my life. You know what, I put my life out there and live wide open. I overshare. Drinks are pretty and to be honest, they get a lot of likes and comments, particularly on Instagram. I am building a successful blog brand, so these things matter to me.
But I can promise you this – you are SURROUNDED daily by people who quietly drink at home, some of them far more than me. It may be your pastor’s wife, your dentist, your kid’s teacher, your stylist, your elderly neighbor. They just aren’t blasting it on social media. I know this, because I hail from a small southern town in a dry county and everyone from my church and high school were lined up at the county line every pay day. They would hide their faces, never making eye contact.
Above all, know these things:
- I am in the healthiest relationship of my life and we pretty much pay the power bill at Total Wine.
- My children are really fucking happy, well fed, and loved. They are, however, really embarrassed by my kitchen dance moves after just a single glass of wine.
- I run a successful business and my team and I love to trade drinking gifs since we all love our wine.
- I am in amazing health.
I opened myself up for criticism by participating in the sarahah hype and I LOVE honesty. I just wanted to point out that much like OCD, anxiety, and depression, terms associated with alcoholism are overused and thrown about casually.
Know what the fuck alcoholism is before you accuse someone of having an issue. And if you are truly concerned about me, talk to me about it openly. I will be happy to invite you to my home so you can see what my life is actually like.