We are going to save his ass before he’s up hers

We start off this episode picking up at the end of the fight from last week ….supposedly Cary had said Brandi’s doctor killed people on the operating table.  Brandi swears Cary said that and Cary swears it’s made up.

Stephanie gets asked about her new house and Cary mentions she thinks it’s the same distance to the schools as the current house and Stephanie said it is closer to Cruz’s.  Then she gets emotional about his Dyslexia and now i’m emotional, not just because I relate to her struggle but because it is lovely to see the other moms supporting and comforting her.  No matter what differences people have, motherhood tends to bring women together.

A plan has been concocted by Brandi and Stephanie to try and get a room key to LeeAnne and D’Andra’s room to look for Sexual Chocolate, the dildo from last week that embarrassed Kameron.  Brandi says in the confessional that “We are going to save his ass before he’s up hers.”  Dying.  The plan, consisting of pretending to be LeeAnne and D’Andra, works and they find it under LeeAnne’s pillow, of all places.  I have to say though, my favorite part of this whole plan is how Stephanie keeps eating off their uneaten room service plates.

 

The ladies go out for an afternoon of boating with an open bar.  It’s super windy with rough waters.   There is plenty of drama and all the same old shit from the ENTIRE SEASON keeps being rehashed.  It comes out that LeeAnne said Mark gets his dick sucked at The Round Up and obviously Cary is livid.

Brandi whips out the dildo again.  Kameron literally leaves the boat out of embarrassment.  She says Brandi is trashy and that she doesn’t respect Stephanie either.

But y’all – the sneak peek for next week’s episode was amazing.  I can’t wait to come back and see what drama I can be annoyed about.

Week in Review: Rhonda

Last week, we skipped out on our Week in Review posts because we were trying to wrap our minds around the tragedy in Las Vegas.  I don’t know that I’ll ever really be able to wrap my head around it, but I can’t allow my  life to completely halt following tragedies.

My kids are STILL out of town at their dad’s, so I have been trying to be productive while doing some things for myself as well.  Let’s just hit the highlights of the last two weeks, in no particular order.

There was bath beer, drinks with the girls, and sunbathing.

There was patio chilling and grilling, and yummy comfort food whipped up in the kitchen.

There was more sunbathing and a date night.

There was brunch at our spot.

It was a lovely couple of weeks and the freedom I have had is coming to an end – this weekend!  What would you do if you only had a few remaining kid-free days?

That’s okay, you’re not my kind of fun

So we are back with another week of gossip and drama.  The ‘wives are still in Mexico and let me tell you – Kameron is still snooty as fuck.  Cary is pulling out her bikini for the day and Kameron says it is a very skimpy suit but cute “for you.”  Backhanded compliments are kind of her thing.

Brandi and Stephanie decide to put a dildo into D’Andra’s bag as a joke.

While the ladies are consuming tacos and tequila, D’Andra pulls out the dildo from her bag.  Naturally Kameron says it’s disgusting and it’s not funny to her at all.  She literally runs away from it and is super offended by the whole ordeal.  She says that is just not her idea of fun and Brandi says “that’s okay, you’re not my kind of fun.” BOOM!

Later while they are getting ready for the evening, LeeAnne tells D’Andra about her engagement.  Tears and shit.  I’m still over here, not caring.

At dinner, Brandi says of Kameron, “She seems to be offended by a lot of things.”  So then Kameron has to say that she is not a person who would go to a strip club (as the others did before).  So Stephanie calls her out for judging.  Kameron naturally says she isn’t judgmental but that other people judge her…. to which Brandi replies, “I’m not the one who judges someone because I don’t have a Highland Park fucking zip code.”  This is true.

LeeAnne breaks the tension by announcing her engagement to everyone.

The next day, Stephanie and Brandi take an extra-sudsy bubble bath with champagne while LeeAnne, D’Andra, and Kameron are at the spa.  I will tell you, Stephanie and Brandi definitely have my type of fun.  I would have much rather when over my head in all things bubbly.

At dinner, they of course get tequila shots.  What is a Mexico trip (or a night at the Stockyards, for that matter) without tequila shots?  Brandi starts a game of two truths and a lie, but when it comes up to be Cary’s turn, she decides to confront LeeAnne about how she threatened Cary’s life to Brandi.  This then leads to Cary and Brandi arguing over whether or not Cary said Brandi’s plastic surgeon has killed people.  Cary denies she said that and that she had told Brandi to be careful and do her research.  But I could slap the fucking smug off LeeAnne’s face.  She is absolutely LOVING that Brandi and Cary are fighting.  What kind of person delights in other friends fighting?  Oh, right, LeeAnne.

 

Are you still not watching this season?  You have to!  Next week looks incredible!

They’re a Statement Piece on Her Body

Welcome back to another week of petty drama.  It’s a good one, y’all.

Mark and Cary are discussing work.  She said she needs to go over to yoga and he wants her to stay and do injectables.  She also wants to go pick up Zuri.  And he is literally such an asshole about their work relationship… like, he can’t wrap his head around the fact that she’s not his employee – she helped him build the practice and is still a MOTHER.  Cary is a picture of that work-life struggle that so many of us face.  She has decided to take a step back from work after this surgery they are filming.  She tells Mark that’s her last surgery for now and he insists she will be back in six months, because she will hate being a stay-at-home mom.

Stephanie and Travis take the kids to see the new house.  Of course they love it and they are excited about the indoor pool.  Stephanie says it will cost over a million dollars just to make the house what they need it to be for the family and tells Travis covering the pool is nonnegotiable.  They finally come to an agreement that they can move in if the pool gets covered, the kids get a playroom added on, and Stephanie gets to make the decorating decisions (with him having veto power).  This is how marriage compromise works!

Stephanie is talking to her life coach and fuck, she has me crying again, talking about Cruz and his dyslexia…saying that he would call himself stupid because he couldn’t understand simple language concepts.  Every kid is different and our society doesn’t educate them with that in mind and I am glad that Cruz seems to have found a school that works for him.  Motherhood is something that should bring us together, because we all face the same issues no matter what our race, class, social status, or job title.  A multi-million dollar house doesn’t guarantee you an easy time in motherhood.

Brandi picks up LeeAnne for her breast surgery.  Here LeeAnne is once again talking about Cary, which seems to be just the norm for her.  Last week, Cary had bad things to say about the doctor that is performing LeeAnne’s surgery, so now she keeps reminding Brandi that Cary bad-mouthed her doctor last year too. Brandi tells us in the confessional that LeeAnne’s nipples really do point straight up (which we found out last week was why she’s having the surgery).  Brandi says she has never seen anything like them and would keep them because, “They’re a statement piece on her body.” Aaaaand I’m dying.

So then things get fucking weird when the doctor leaves the room and Brandi and LeeAnne are left behind closed doors, mic’d but without the cameras.  She essentially threatens Cary, telling Brandi that she is going to come for her…and that she doesn’t have knives but has fists that work.  Like, really?!  She is so fucking crazy.  She also says, regarding these ongoing rumors about Mark being gay, “Her husband gets his dick sucked at The Round-Up” and claims she knows the men who did it.  For reference, The Round-Up is a western gay bar in Dallas.  Now look, I need them to calm the hell down about this rumor.  One, it is rude and classless to gossip about your “friend” and her marriage.  Two, people have to stop talking about gay like it’s a bad thing.  Three, Cary and Mark’s marriage is just that – THEIRS.  None of anybody else’s business.

 

At the end of the episode, the ladies fly to Mexico for a girls’ trip.  I would love to have one of those some day!  As soon as they arrive, everyone is split into two groups, talking about this entire Cary/LeeAnne drama.

The best part of the entire episode though?  No pink dog food nonsense from Kameron.  Win.

 

I Feel Like I’m About To Hang Out With Ridiculous People

This was one hot episode and I am just going to hit the highlights here.

Kamryn and her husband go to Cary’s house for a nice dinner.  Naturally, Mark is annoyed that Zuri was allowed to stay for dinner.  She doesn’t want to eat.  She just wants chocolate.  I can’t take how Mark tells Cary, “anything she doesn’t eat, you’re going to eat.”  But it’s a pet peeve of mine for a husband to talk to his wife like she’s a child.  Fuck that noise.  Cary said he is not supporting her in balancing priorities in life, which is totally true.  She knew he would be a hands-off dad, but she also admits it would be nice to have some support when she feels like she is drowning.

Rich proposes to LeeAnne at the State Fair of Texas.  I’m glad, because I am so tired of hearing about how she wants him to propose.  Can I move on now?  I doubt it.  I’m sure we will have to hear all sorts of obnoxious shit about being engaged and wedding planning.

D’Andra prepping for this HonesTEA party, intended to get things out in the open.  I cringe at the way she is running around telling her housekeeper what to do.  Like, I realize she’s her employee, but there’s something condescending in her tone.

In the limo on the way to the party, Brandi says, “I look ridiculous, I feel ridiculous, and I feel like I’m about to hang out with ridiculous people.”  True dat.  I mean, she looks precious, but ridiculous people?  Spot on.

So as soon as they step out of the car, Kameron pops onto the confessional, telling us that Brandi is already breaking the rules, with her skirt above the knee.  She is so snotty, it’s uncomfortable to watch.  Y’all know I love a salty and catty betch, but Kameron is that disgusting type, who truly thinks she is better than someone due to social status.

So D’Andra has everyone writing down questions for ladies on a card and she reads them out.  All this shit comes out about Brandi not taking everyone to see her family in Tennessee – again.  Enough, Kameron.  You know you aren’t friends with Brandi…why in the FUCK would she take you to see her family?!  Brandi calls her a bitch.  Brandi is as over it as I am.  She walks off and tries to leave, but of course LeeAnne and Stephanie drag her back in.

It also comes out that LeeAnne is perpetuating lies about anything she can.  Shock.  Also, apparently LeeAnne is having plastic surgery by someone who is not a plastic surgeon.  Cary is familiar with the doctor, but LeeAnne makes it sound like Cary is just trying to sound smarter than her.  More potty mouth name-calling (the best kind) ensues.  LeeAnne cries and and makes herself a victim.  Of course.

They decide they want to all go on a vacation to Mexico together.  Okay then, crazies.

I say this all the time, but it bears repeating – if you aren’t watching this season, START NOW!

Currently We Are….

Heeey Y’all! Happy Thursday…you know that beautiful day right before FriYAY?! Hope you guys are having a wonderful one, and we’re so glad to see you! Today we wanted to do one of those “Currently…” blog posts. We just think these are cute because it gives you a more candid glimpse into our minds and lives. Hopefully you guys enjoy it! And who knows?  You might just learn something new about us too. 😉

 

Ashley –

  1. Wanting/Needing: Hmmmm do you have all day? 😉 I’m actually currently feening for some new makeup. I’ve been on a “no buy”, in regards to makeup, for this month…. soo let’s just say that I’m super glad it’s the 20th. What’s on my list to purchase? Well, let me show ya: 
  2. Watching: I cannot even remember the last time I sat down and watched something other than a video on YouTube. Oh wait. That’s a lie. I did watch the movie The Arrival a couple weeks ago. It was really good! What am I watching on  YouTube? Well you know…lots of makeup tutorials really. lol I’m slightly obsessed.
  3. Listening To: I’ll let my Amazon Music Play list speak for itself here….
  4. Obsessed With:  My dry shampoo adventures. LOL In an attempt to keep my hair color from fading so quickly AND take better care of my hair in general – I’m trying to utilize dry shampoo more regularly and not wash my hair so much. I typically wash my hair every morning. I went four days without washing prior to Tuesday morning. And today I’m feeling like a badass because I just dry shampooed my beach hair from yesterday and am going with it. hahaha I’m using Batiste (the original). I love it…but I think I’ll switch to the ‘Beautiful Brunette’ variety next time. 
  5. Planning For: I have a week vacation coming up next week. So, I’ve been trying to plan something fun that the kids and I can do – you know, something different from our usual activities. I definitely want to do a beach day somewhere different from home. My mom suggested Dauphin Island (in Alabama), because it’s not that far of a drive and the waters should be calmer. Soo yeah. We shall see on that. 🙂

What about you Rhonda? What’s going on with YOU currently? 

Rhonda –

  1. Wanting/Needing: Well… Like Ashley said, do you have all day?  I always want makeup and clothes, that’s a given.  But let me give you just one specific beauty item and one specific style item.  I am dying for Tarte’s new unicorn brushes.  Aside from that, I also want AND need some black skinnies (the particular ones below are ASOS).

  • 2. Watching: The better question might be, what am I not watching?   I DVR so much stuff, but my never-fall-behind shows are LIVE! With Kelly, Dateline, This Is Us, Pretty Little Liars, Southern Charm and …..well, okay, I watch a lot y’all.  I love the DVR because it allows me to keep up and watch TV at my convenience.  I watch a lot of reality TV for sure.  Anyway, most recently watched Man With a Plan on the DVR while I cleaned.
  • 3. Listening To: I have been working on my annual girls’ trip playlist, so I have been listening to my iTunes on shuffle and saving to the playlist.  And as you can see in the screenshot, Champagne Problems by Nick Jonas is on at the moment.  I have very eclectic taste in music.
  • 4. Obsessed With: My upcoming trip.  It’s now a week away and I am in full-on prep mode.  Shopping, packing, planning logistics, repacking…. It’s on.  I am so ready to be in paradise.
  • 5. Planning For: Well, I already mentioned the trip for next week and I am definitely planning that, but beyond that, I am planning for my 7-year-old’s 8th birthday party and a WEDDING that is one week and one day away.

What do you currently have going on?