My Menstrual Cup Memoir – Ashley

I was definitely that teenage girl who cried and threw a hissy fit over having to learn to use a tampon for the first time. I can vividly remember my mom telling me that “if I wanted to swim I was just going to have to learn to do it.”Ok- so I can’t vividly remember the EXACT words she used but it was something along the lines of “suck it up buttercup… and get to it.” Not that she meant that with any less than the utmost concern. 😉

I’m certain I asked my mom how to do it. You know. How to insert the tampon. Like literally. I can remember attempting to do it while laying down. That approach didn’t work so well. My next course of action? I consulted the instructions. I’m big on instructions – unless I just absolutely trust that someone can tell me how to do it. Tampon instructions. That’s where I learned the squat and lean forward method. I figured it out and had been successfully wearing tampons, with zero regrets, until September of last year.

What happened in September? Well, it was just a culmination of a lot of things including some personal lady issues and hearing Rhonda rave about her Diva Cup. I knew at that point that I no longer wanted to use tampons. I didn’t want that toxic material, inside me. And really. Have you worn a tampon recently? It doesn’t always feel great. Especially the coming out. Tampons just block and stop everything from flowing correctly. I was at a point that I needed to see the amount of blood exiting my body. You can’t do that with tampons. And speaking of that blood. It’s not just  a smooth flowing spring like you’ve seen exiting from other parts of your body. This blood is ooey, gooey, and full of giant clots. I mean really. Just think of  the logistics of a compact piece of material properly absorbing that mess. So maybe you’re thinking, Ashley, seriously…what exactly is so bad about a tampon beyond your own personal experience? I mean..to name a few things:

  • Ingredients in tampons are not nearly regulated as they should be.
  • Your vagina is super absorbent. Therefore, the pesticides and chlorine that are present in the cotton used to make a tampon are being absorbed into your vagina. That’s cool right?
  • Speaking of….there are pesticides on your tampon! And chlorine. Have you even considered the possible long term effects of repeatedly exposing your body to those??
  • They create the perfect environment for infection. A tampon holds blood in contact with the vagina, the stagnant blood changes vaginal pH, and prevents the vagina from flushing out the harmful bacteria. Hello infection!  
  • Need more reasons? Just Google it man. There are a plethora.

I didn’t go straight to using a cup. I actually didn’t jump and make that decision until I was once again confronted with the issue of wanting to swim while being on my period. I was also over the messiness of using pads. And pads are not even that great for your vaginal health either. It was just definitely time to take the plunge. So I hopped on Amazon and within a few clicks my Pixie Cup was being prepared to ship to my house. Why didn’t I go with the Diva? Well, I read all the reviews on Amazon. Most people said the Pixie was much more flexible/soft than the Diva – and the Pixie had a better price point. I think I may get a Diva Cup at some point just to compare.

Now, there are a lot of articles out there detailing how to use a menstrual cup. I’m not here to give you some generic set of instructions. I’m here to give my specific thoughts and experience.

  • I chose the size 2 because I’m over 30 and have had two children vaginally. Insertion was not a problem. I just folded it and popped it in. Using the whole squat and lean forward method.
  • Even though I knew logically it wasn’t possible – I had the fear that my cup would be sucked up deep inside me and I’d have to rush to the ER to have it removed. Have you guys seen that episode of Sex and The City where Samantha had to retrieve Carrie’s diaphragm from inside her? Because Carrie couldn’t seem to reach it herself?  Yeah. Root of my fear there.
  • In the beginning, it’s messy AF when removing the cup to empty. Also, don’t be white girl wasted while trying to navigate the first time use of your cup. You will probably make a bloody mess…in your best friend’s bathroom. And have no idea that you did. But yeah. That whole process gets easier with practice. I’m pretty savvy now.
  • I ended up having to turn my cup inside out. This was a tip from Rhonda when I complained that I could still feel it. I tried just trimming the stem first – that didn’t work. So, I flipped the whole thing inside out. I just use my muscles to push it out and pinch the end  while pulling the cup the rest of the way out when I’m ready to empty.
  • The thought occurred to me that it’s kind of sad that I realized how unfamiliar I am with my vagina. There never really was an instance where I was repeatedly all up in her biznass before. Tampons allow you to have basically no contact, thanks to that toxic plastic applicator. And well recreationally? I mean. I have a vibrator which makes hand to vagina contact:  not necessary. I think it just falls under that umbrella of in so many subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) ways women are brainwashed to hate their bodies. So, you dare not explore it…especially your precious flower of a vagina. That’s taboo. Anyway, she and I have definitely become better acquainted. 🙂
  • At first…I pinched myself a shit ton. A nail pinch. Yeah. OOOOWWW. I am happy to say that those instances are few and far in between now..usually only happens if I’m in a rush or something. Why would I be in a rush? Oh I don’t know. .. Maybe those times when my children are pounding at the bathroom door because they all of a sudden NEED me.
  • Getting my cup to open up once it’s inserted is what takes me the longest. How do I do that? I do a combination/series of things. I’ll use my muscles to push it out a little and lightly grab the bottom of the cup between my fingers and spin it. I then run my pointer finger around the bottom outside to ensure that it has completely opened. Once I know it’s open, I contract my muscles and use my finger to push it a little further up inside me.
  • The whole experience has been liberating and freeing..and well life changing. I know I’ll never introduce Sophie to tampons.

And there you have it. My unsolicited. Frank. Pretty rambly. And Honest – thoughts on using a menstrual cup. I know this is no comprehensive guide. I could say a ton more. You guys know my tendency to ramble. I’ll leave it here though. And listen,  don’t stop your research with this blog post. Google. Read on. Form your own opinion…but I’m pretty sure you will be converted to the dark side. The dark side where we aren’t ashamed to face the natural functions of our body. The dark side where we respect our bodies and stop putting dangerous stuff inside them.

Week In Review: Rhonda

Another week behind us and ready to get some shit done this week!  I am one of those people who actually likes Mondays.  I love a fresh start to the week!  Full of possibility.

Monday and Tuesday were pretty typical – super busy and productive.  Wednesday I worked an online Facebook party for my Lippie Biz.  And the boys wanted mustaches.  Yep, typical.

Then Wednesday, I was excited for some customer orders to come in….then stressed AF to discover that the AC was leaking and leaving water under the floorboards.  However, thankfully we rent so it wasn’t really my problem – just inconvenient.

Thursday and Friday were more Facebook parties, target, and cupcake baking.

Weekends are for relaxing, hanging with the family, and grilling.  we rock at it.

I hope your week had the perfect mix of productivity and relaxation!

A Hair Challenge

I am have always been bad about being stuck in hair ruts.  Yes, I change color pretty often and used to switch up my cuts a lot.  However, for years, I have always just straightened it or put it in a ponytail…neither being particularly healthy for my hair or flattering.  I look best when my hair is at least mostly down and with some wave/curls/body.

With my hair needing a cut and color, I knew I needed to do something to look and feel better, so I issued myself a challenge to help pass the time until I can get a hair appointment.  I decided that for 7 days, I would do a different style each day.  Admittedly, some of these will look the same to you, but trust me, they are different.

Super not fancy, just pinned on the sides because the front of my hair looked weird.

This day, I TWISTED the sides before pinning.

My go-to style the day before I wash, messy waves.

Hair washing day called for a blow-out.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, pinned back.  So innovative.”  Guys, this one is different.  I teased the crown before pinning back the sides!  I also pulled the sides all the way back so that the pins cross in the back.  I know!  I am so creative and WILD.

My daughter had her hair in pigtails so I just ran with it for myself. My hair was damaged and stringy at the ends.  This ended up being a good way to mask that.

Well, I had enough.  I ended the challenge by cutting my own hair.  Yep, I’m more than a little crazy.  But now my damage is gone and I will see a professional in a few weeks!

I felt like pushing myself to try something different really made me feel put together every day.  Do you ever feel like you get stuck in a rut, whether it’s with your makeup, clothes, hair, diet, or daily routine?  Try issuing yourself a challenge and see how you do!

 

A Parent’s Influence

The ways my dad made me the person I am today – Ashley

I’m pretty sure that most parents, don’t set out with every single little value that they want to instill in their children’s hearts and minds. I mean I know this is how I feel about my approach. I know we all have core beliefs and values that we want to share with our children and hope that they adopt them because we believe that they will make them better human beings. A lot of times those things happen by accident, or our parents try to bestow one set of beliefs on us and we reach for the exact opposite.

Father’s day was this past Sunday and I can say without a doubt that I am super lucky to have the dad that I have. I get all sentimental when I think of the ways the has knowingly and unknowingly shaped who I am. To say that I was a “daddy’s girl” growing up is an understatement. I pretty much worshiped my dad. In my memories of him he was the end all and be all. He knew everything. He did no wrong. His stature was even bigger.

As I got older – all of that changed for me. I could clearly see his faults. I realized that he did not in fact know everything. I also noticed that he is so tiny. Did any of those realizations make me love him less? Did any of that make me like him less? Nope. My dad is in no way perfect, but he’s the perfect dad for me. I will forever be grateful and mindful of the ways that he (maybe unintentionally?) shaped who I am, for the better.

  • My dad taught me that gender roles at home don’t have to be a thing. My mom never really cooked for us on a regular basis. She didn’t like to, and my dad does. So he cooked dinner every night. He made breakfast and lunch on the weekends. My dad would also always make my mom’s plate for her. I know that my dad didn’t do this because he sought to prove anything to anyone – he was just doing his part. It didn’t matter that he was the man or that he worked long 12+ hours a day (mostly outside). My mom didn’t like to cook – and he did. So he cooked for us. Plain and simple. I always said that I’d marry a man who would cook for me too, because I absolutely hate it. That hasn’t happened yet, but fingers crossed one day it will. 😉 Dad likes to say that my liberal tendencies started because I went to MUW…got news for you dad…you started it. You showed me that I don’t have to fulfill the roles that society deemed ‘fit for a woman’. You didn’t mean to. You even tried to teach me how to cook and attempted to get me to appreciate the value in knowing how to prepare a meal for my future loved ones. Your actions though. Your actions every single night in that kitchen showed me that I can do whatever I want to. You showed me that I can be the person I want to be – and that there would be someone out there who could support that and stand by me while I did.
  • Sometimes my dad can be harsh. There have been many times that I’ve seen him bring my mom to tears or illicit one of those “looks” because he said something completely inconsiderate. Sometimes my dad can be incredibly narrow minded. It’s his way or the highway. When he believes that he is right – well he won’t back down. These two characteristics are things that I’ve always intentionally (and sometimes subconsciously) tried to not embody. I think twice..a million times…before I speak. Especially to those that mean the most to me. And I never ever want to be narrow minded. I’m continually trying to understand and relate to and find common ground with people. I don’t change my mind easily. I just know the danger in not being able to open my eyes to what’s around me and know how to stand firm in what I believe within the midst of differences -even if those differences are among my family. 
  • Politics – standing up for what’s important to you by voting, being informed, and knowing who you want to shape the laws of the country that you live in. All of that was not something that I even worried that much about. The first time that I can remember even caring was when Barack Obama ran for president the first time. My dad said to me once that I’d really really care when I realized how much all of that actually affected my life. He was so right. I’m living in a time right now where I feel like so many of us are having to actively stand up and fight for what we want our political leaders to advocate for on our behalves. So yeah, you were right dad. We may not see eye to eye on what I we want. You definitely also taught me how much I hate FOX News…despite the fact that you continue to listen to it. 😉 But nevertheless – you always tried to let me know that I can’t just live my life and think that what’s going on in our government and elsewhere in this country does not affect me. I used to think you were being overly dramatic – now I know you weren’t. 
  • Being deliberate about showing interest in my children, the things they like to do, and the things I’d like for them to like doing with me. My dad has always been that way. He included me in his hobbies. I really really saw his deliberate attempt at a strong and connected relationship through his interaction with my little brother. I see him do it with my own son and daughter. My kids may not end up liking the same things I do. I just want them to remember that I always included them and that I always wanted to be a part of what they wanted to do as well.

So yeah. Thanks dad. You’re my number one guy from the beginning … Love you,

Week In Review: Rhonda

As you know, we had a lot going on and skipped our Week in Review last week.  So I going to to just hit the highlights.  I had a kid-free two weeks, so it was both relaxing and productive, with a good dose of fun!

Tuesday and Wednesday, I took advantage of my solo status and worked at Starbucks and Buffalo Wild Wings…with shopping breaks.  I got a lot of blogging, working, and writing done, along with a healthy dose of people watching.

Thursday and Friday were spent getting some stuff done around the house and relaxing. I worked on some wedding party stuff, which was really exciting.  Friday night was supposed to be the night that Ashley arrived for a visit, but the airline had different ideas, so we invited Stuart’s coworker over to grill.  Stuart grills a mean steak.

Ashley finally arrived Saturday and we had a wonderful whirlwind day.  Shopping, happy hour, a tattoo for Ashley, and a night at the Fort Worth Stockyards.

I finally got to start wedding dress shopping.  More to come on that later.  Suffice it to say, nothing I tried worked, but I got a better idea of what I wanted.

After a Thursday afternoon spent at Starbucks working, Friday brought about a great surprise – Stuart took the day off to take care of our internet issues.  Once those were cured, we went to visit the marketing coordinator at our preferred venue.  We were happy to determine that it is THE place for us.  I’ll tell you more later!  Later that evening, Stuart surprised me with a date night to our favorite steakhouse.  I can’t recommend enough that you try out The Keg in Arlington for the kind of steak that that nearly gives you an orgasm.

We spent Saturday with all the relaxation.  We stopped by an open house for a rental house.  It was oddly situated in a sketchy neighborhood but was a super nice house.    Stuart once again surprised me as we dropped by our wedding venue for a quick beer (they were about to close).  We came home to grill again, which is always a good idea.

Sunday was our final morning without children, so we had brunch, then went to Stuart’s messy-ass office for him to do some work.  Then we hit the road to get the kids, which is always a grand adventure.

What did you do this week?  Get into anything fun?

 

The Story of My Tattoo : Ashley

When I went to Dallas this past weekend to see my amazing blogging partner, Rhonda, in an uncharacteristically spur of the moment decision (one that was for sure fueled by copious amounts of alcohol) I decided to get a tattoo. I know what you’re thinking. Well I do if you really know me or if you read  my “20 Things” post..  Ashley, I thought you didn’t do spontaneity? I don’t. And like I said I did have alcohol encouraging me. And honestly, I’ve been considering this tattoo for FOREVER. I’ve been writing it on my arm for months on end. I’d been putting off the exact time – kind of like you do with the first time you have sex. You want it to be beautiful, magical, perfect, at the right time, and with the right person. That’s way too much pressure. In both situations. Just unrealistic expectations. I love the way my tattoo happened. I was with one of my most favorite people. My nearest and dearest. She was there to hold my hand, and write the template for the words that are now forever written on my arm.

Why those words? Why that phrase? My dad actually said it once during a sermon. He was speaking about the sacrifice that Jesus made by dying on the cross for his followers. My dad was saying that Jesus is love. That Jesus is the ultimate representation of love because he chose to love those that did not deserve it and showed that love by sacrificing his life so that they may have everlasting (after)life. Now, I don’t believe in god – or that Jesus was the son of god. I think he was just a man. I do believe in what my dad said though.

Love is most certainly a choice. We are not forced to love anyone. Love for our children is not even something that is always automatic for people. There are plenty of men and women who walk away from their children and never look back. That is not love. We also do not “fall in love” with people. Romantically. I don’t believe in meant to bes and love at first sight. You may meet someone that you can’t get out of your head. It might be hard to stop thinking about them. You may even choose to love them when you know that you shouldn’t. Someone may make it known to you that they love you – and you find yourself wanting to love them back. Even when you may have never given them a second thought before. You can stop that though. Finding love. Loving someone. It’s just truly simple. You just make the choice. And for me. That revelation. The realization that I’m not bound by some mythical fairy tale elusive feeling or state of being – the realization that I can love whomever I chose to. That is so freeing.

When you are in a long term relationship – or when you have children, I think that you really experience and can recognize that love is a choice. You have to choose to love your partner daily. There are times that they do things that upset you, but you want to be with that person. So, you choose to love them. Not in spite of or despite the things they do – but because you want to. The same goes for our children. There are moments that those boogers make you just want to throw your hands up and walk away. But you don’t. Because you don’t want to. Those little humans give your life more meaning than you could have ever fathomed so you press on. You continue to choose to love them.

And equally as important as choosing to love someone – is to demonstrate that love through actions. That can be tricky. Sometimes the way we think is showing our love may not be a way that is recognized by the person we are attempting to show it to. You know – we all have different love languages. The point is. You can choose to love someone. You can tell that person that you are choosing to love them. You can say “I love you” over and over and over…but you need to follow that up with some demonstration. Some physical affection. Some other kind words in a moment of need. Some surprise gifts. Some thoughtful remembrances. Whatever the case may be. If Rhonda is the first one to start writing/editing a post that we are co writing, (like our OOTD posts) she will go ahead and insert my name and make it a heading for me. Why? Because she knows I hated dealing with html. That’s showing love people. Then she did the ultimate act of love by showing me a SHORTCUT to make my own headings without having to deal with html. 😉

Love is simple – but it’s multifaceted. You can love someone or something with never getting any love back. You can love someone and they can love you back – and that can be difficult at times. I just feel like though. If you keep it simple. If you make things basic. If you realize that Love is a Choice and An Action – you can always get back to where you want to be in your relationships and life. Sometimes that means walking away. Sometimes that means pressing on.

 

I got that phrase tattooed on my arm, because it’s a sentiment that I live by.

Stop Living For the Freakin’ Weekend

I can admit that I’ve been this person who counts down to Friday…just waiting for the weekend to come so that I can live.  While I do still very much look forward to the weekends, my life got exponentially better when I stopped living for the weekend.  Yours can be that way too.

Here’s the thing, y’all.  There are seven days in a week.  What happens when you spend a good chunk of the week in a blur, waiting for Saturday?  You lose valuable time that you can never get back.

What about the weekend makes it more special than the weekdays for you?

Do you work Monday through Friday and off on weekends? And do you dislike that job?  Is it stressful?  Do you hate school days because of all the chaos that comes with that?  Maybe you are a stay-at-home parent and your other half works weekdays so you look forward to having an adult around on the weekend.

For me, there were times when I did not place much value on the weekends because I was a retail manager and usually worked.  I worked a couple of jobs that were typical weekday jobs and they were highly stressful, so I looked forward to that weekend break and time with my family.  Currently, working for myself from home and homeschooling four children, I crave those weekends, which bring time with Stuart and help around the house.  He works very long days, so I don’t even get to look forward to time in the evenings with him much.

Somewhere along the way, I changed in the last few months.  I started just taking advantage of blocks of time every day.  It took deciding that I was going to be positive and enjoy each and every ordinary day.

A random Tuesday doesn’t have to be full of plans and fun moments to be enjoyed.  It takes a simple action – a naptime margarita, a playdate with your best friend and her kids, watching shitty reality TV in your room while the kids watch YouTube videos, a trip to Ulta or a solo movie while your kids are at school.

There are two things I do every weekday to make sure I am taking care of my mental health and just living my life to the fullest.

  1. My pre-dinner ritual.  Whether or not the kids are home, I turn up my favorite music, pour a drink, and dance around the kitchen while I make dinner.  Trust me, it makes cooking dinner less of a routine chore and more of a moment to be enjoyed.  Sometimes I Snapchat the moment.  Sometimes I Instagram it.  Sometimes I leave my phone on the charger and just soak it in.
  2. Naptime routine.  My boys do not nap and Claudia rarely does, but we still make it part of the day.  They get in their beds, I put on the TV or hand them a tablet, and I take a coffee or beer to my room.  I lock the door and watch DVRed shows, workout, blog, do my makeup…whatever I want to do in peace.  They aren’t allowed to so much as knock on the door unless someone is hurt.

You don’t have to do the same things I do to make your day good.  But do something that makes you happy.  Soak in a bath, text a good friend, watch horrible TV, go for a walk, read a book, sit in Starbucks.

Every day is special.  Every.  Freaking.  One.  Because you’re still alive…. And the weekend will be here before you know it.  Now go live.

[t-shirt here]

Wedding Planning – Introduction

When Stuart and I got engaged this past December, I knew that I wanted to have the whole to-do.  Both of us had gotten married at the courthouse with our previous marriages and while that is lovely and gets the job done, I just wanted something different this time.  I wanted those who love us and support our relationship to be able to witness our union.  At the same time, I also knew that we wanted something personal and intimate that wouldn’t break the bank.

We set a date, then put off wedding planning until after my beach vacation.  I had too much else to focus on and pay for, so it just didn’t make sense to really get into it.  Now, here we are over a month after my vacation and I am just over 300 days away from my wedding date.  What have I planned?  Well, let’s see…

  • Date: CHECK!
  • Venue: Yeah, not so much.
  • Photographer: I have narrowed it down to a couple options.
  • Catering: I have some ideas…ish.
  • Wedding Party: Bride’s, yes.  Groom, uh…pretty sure we haven’t even talked about it.
  • Dress: Ha!
  • Aesthetic: Got that lined up!
  • Guest list: Sort of.  It has been discussed and it’s small enough that I could make the list in 5 minutes.

Safe to say we haven’t done shit.  I bought a planning binder, decided I didn’t like it…bought another.  I picked out my bridal party and they know who they are.  I know what the colors and feel of the wedding are.  I sort of know what I want in a dress and I have some ideas for catering.

We just really need this venue thing nailed down before we can do much else.  And here’s the thing – we have a venue in mind, but we also would prefer to do it in our own backyard….but we don’t have one.  We are trying to find a house and I hope it’s soon so that we CAN figure out if we want to get married there or elsewhere.

What I definitely know about our wedding is it will be intimate, personal, and very us.  In the same way I rage against the MOMachine, I will very much be raging against the wedding industry.  I have zero desire to just go along with and pay for everything I’m “supposed to.”  No thank you.  So you’ll see a lot of DIY and unusual ideas here.

Anyway, I will be posting an update to this series any time I feel like there is something to update on.  First installment will be about my bridal party and that is coming soon!

Anyone else really drag their feet in planning their wedding?

When a Facebook Comment makes you rant….

I am capable of making humans. I was born with this ability. I did not ask for it. I did not ask for reproductive organs that allow me to carry and grow a human. Nevertheless, I am able to do this. I am a woman. Have you figured out how to make humans without me yet? Are there little tiny humans cooking in some lab somewhere? If you have – that’s fantastic, because being pregnant fucking sucks and I would have gladly turned that responsibility over to someone else…or over to a lab tech. Whoever. Yeah, I could adopt – or hire a surrogate. I don’t HAVE to be pregnant. Do you know how expensive that is though? Having a baby, no matter how you do it, is expensive – BUT doing it myself is definitely less than the other options. And also, you’re still using a woman to make that baby. I know. I know. I need a man too. Not for the whole process though. We could freeze all the men’s sperm and kill them all and STILL be able to make babies. Just saying. I do not literally have intentions of doing that – just fyi. Buut yeah – can you make a baby for me at the same cost it is for me to do it myself? Oh. You haven’t figured that out yet?? What. A. Shame.

I know that I don’t speak for all women. I know that plenty of women have differing views than mine. That is totally fine. It is ok if you want to give up your rights to equal health care. It is your prerogative to take a back seat while we are being taken advantage of – laughed at for asserting ourselves – scoffed at for demanding what we deserve. It’s 2017 and our great grandmothers already fought this fight. It’s 2017 and didn’t we JUST enact the ACA? But here we are again. Here are the naysayers again. The ones that say, “You already got what you want.” while they attempt to take it away from us. For what? For religious liberty? You don’t have a vagina so it’s not your problem?? Well. Fuck off. You say. Abstain from sex if you don’t want to create an unwanted pregnancy. You say your moral code does not permit promiscuity so disease should not be a problem. You say “It’s all in gods hands – he has a plan and a purpose for everything” so I should just pray to/trust in him concerning things like uncontrollable pain, cancer, unending bleeding, recurrent ovarian cysts, hormone induced migraines…and so on?

Doesn’t your god work through his or her people? I’m not familiar with all religions and the way their god’s orchestrate their will. I am familiar with a few and in my experience the gods need us mere humans to do their bidding. So, as a religious individual isn’t it your responsibility to take care of the people? To take care of the people who are responsible for growing the future generation?

And it’s not your problem? Did I ask you to pay for my healthcare? Are you going to pay for my healthcare? Is someone going to make you pay for MY healthcare? Nope. The answer is no. Get off your high horse and come back to reality. If anything, we are imploring each other to pay for our own healthcare. Afraid of paying more taxes? Wouldn’t it be better to pay a little more in taxes than what you are paying out of pocket for healthcare? By the way, there are countries out there with functioning universal healthcare systems run through their governments.

Also, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not asking for a place of honor as a woman. I’m just asking for respect. I’m just asking for necessary care. I’m asking for you to stop being a prick. I’m asking for you to be considerate. I’m asking that you inform yourself. I’m asking that you don’t just take someone else’s word and run with it. I’m asking that you take the time to form your own educated opinions and learn how distinguish fact from fiction.

  1. Birth Control is not free to everyone at a state funded health department location. In most cases, you have to meet income guidelines. So, if I make a lot of money to support myself and my family, but my insurance doesn’t provide free or discounted access to BC – I probably also can’t get it at my local health department.
  2. You don’t pay more for healthcare as a man in order to pay for my BC and other female services. That’s a lie. No one is even asking you to pay more. You know who did pay more? Women. You know who are being threatened to once again have to pay more? Women.

Ok – so here’s the deal, no one is asking you to be inconvenienced by the things my body needs in order to function properly. No one is actually inconveniencing you. I’m worried though. I’m literally and rightfully worried about the future or my healthcare. I’m worried for my daughter. So I can’t just sit here and see your comment without saying something. I can’t know that there are people out there who think and feel the same way you do without doing something myself. So, I’m doing what I can. I’m speaking my mind, because thankfully I have a platform from which i can  stand on and write. I’ve donated money. I’ve signed petitions. I will do what I can and when I can to fight for myself. To fight for other women. I shouldn’t have to. It’s utterly insane that I do. That we do. I’ll admit that. This should all be a non issue. But it isn’t. So I’m not going to be silent.

Week In Review: Rhonda

Another week behind us, and what a week it has been!  I can’t even.  Let’s get to it.

Tuesday was just like any other weekday – worked, mommed, texted.  When mail time came though, my lovely Colourpop order was here!  You can see swatches of these beauties on Instagram.

I’m not going to tell you about Wednesday, because you got all the details in my Day In the Life post.

Thursday, I spend a good chunk of the day working in my journal to get ready for June.  I caught up on my DVR and did normal parenting stuff.

On Friday, my world came to a halt.  About 1 pm, I was in the kitchen with Nick as he made himself lunch.  I suddenly saw something move on his head.  I took a closer look and it was a fucking bug.  I wasn’t sure what kind of bug.  I picked it out and kept looking.  LICE.  MOTHERFUCKING LICE.  This was the first time in my entire parenting career to deal with it and let me tell you, I hope you never have to.  Every single person (myself included) in the house with hair had lice.  I immediately texted Stuart an SOS and he brought home what we needed to start the Cetaphil method.  I chose this because I like to minimize my kids’ exposure to toxins and my BFF Nicole had sworn this worked better in her experience.  I went through it with all four kids, then myself.  It took 5.5 hours to handle everyone.  I was exhausted and my back was aching.  Claudia fell asleep as I dried her hair.

Saturday, we got up and started washing and checking everyone’s hair. Turns out, I must have combed out too much excess Cetaphil, because all the kids still had live bugs.  I decided to redo the boys, but not Claudia because hers takes over an hour and she only had one bug and few nits.  I flat ironed her hair to fry anything I missed and we headed out to take the kids to Dustin.  Back in town, we went to Total Wine and stocked up.  At home, I found a dead bug in my hair and decided to have Stuart comb me thoroughly.  Everything in my hair was dead, thankfully.  With that behind us, we sat down to a dinner of chips and assorted dips and watched Dateline.  With the kids gone, we were able to actually be all over the house and not confined to our bedroom.

Sunday was the first full day without the kids and we absolutely took advantage of it.  We spent the day on the couch.  I never bothered with underwear.  I ate my brunch at the coffee table while journaling and we watched a lot of TV.  In the evening, Stuart went to work for a bit while I straightened up and did some doodling . Then he came home and grilled.  Such a great Sunday.

Another week behind us and now a week of deep cleaning, errands, and some Me Time.  Ashley is coming here this weekend and I can’t wait to share the shenanigans with you all.  Make sure you are following our IG account (@rageagainstthemomachine) and snapchat (RAthemomachine)!