Mommy Confessions Volume II

Rhonda here, taking my turn at the Mommy Confessions.  I have a lot of shit to confess, but we will start here.

I knew my entire life that I wanted to be a mother.  I always knew it would be part of my life.  I looked forward to reading to my children, making them healthy lunches, and playing games with them (HA! Joke is on me, because here’s a mini-confession for you…I hate doing ALL those things).  I knew that parenting wouldn’t be a big walk in the park, of course.  As a child playing House, I would role-play not just the rocking my baby to sleep, but also the yelling at my toddler to PLEASE be quiet and take a nap.  One thing I didn’t expect for when I had children is that I just might spend a large amount of my time yearning for them to go Grandma’s, go play in the other room, go to the store with Daddy, go to bed…. Just GO.

I am in the first few days of a two-week period with no children.  They are at their dad’s house until after Father’s Day.  I can’t tell you how I have excitedly waited for this week.  Oh, the solitude!  Wandering every aisle at Target, getting some work done at Starbucks, aimlessly weaving in and out of shop doors, deep cleaning the kitchen for four hours, being naked when I want, watching TV on the couch instead of in my room.  It’s glorious.  Of course, there is also that whole thing where I get to spend quality time with Stuart.  The thing is, he works super long days so I am getting lots of Rhonda Time.  I ain’t mad at it.  I have always been a person who needs some time alone to do whatever I feel like doing.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know the old cliché is kinda true – The days are long, but the years are short.  Parents spend so much of the day watching the clock and not enough time soaking up the moments.  I know I for sure am so guilty of that.  I fully recognize that one day, I will miss them being needy and totally into me.  I will miss a tiny boy climbing into my bed to tell me I’m her best friend.  Supposedly, I will someday miss my house being a wreck (not fucking likely).

Here’s the thing, though… my real confession is that I don’t give a single fucking fuck what you think about how much I enjoy being away from my children.  I love it.  I love the hell out of it. I am not sorry.  I could just about cry for joy when I wake up in the morning and realize I can go get coffee without tiptoeing around, trying not to wake someone before I can drink my sweet nectar of the gods.

People always have a comment about what other parents do and this certainly is no exception.  When learning that my kids would be gone for 15 days and that I was making all sorts of plans, people have said, “Oh wow, I couldn’t stand to be away from kids for that long” or something to that effect.  And it’s always said with a tone that suggests that I am not on their parenting level because I don’t want a small person up my ass all day every day.  If that’s you and you enjoy that, then more power to you!  You go, Mama.  (But also, you can’t complain that you haven’t worn makeup or gone on a date in 12 years – that was your choice.)

So yes, I am going to enjoy these days with my children left in the beyond capable hands of their father.  I’ll be a better mother for it.

Mommy Confessions Volume I

Hey guys – Ashley here, I wanted to take a minute to introduce and kick of a series that we wanted to start on the blog. Ready to hear all about it? Welllll let’s go! 😉

So, my dad always tells this story about me. I can’t remember for sure ..but I think I was around three or four in the story. It was back in the golden days of only childness. Tell me you other first children don’t think about those first few years of being an only child with a little bit of nostalgia and rose tinted glasses?? No? Oh. Ok. Well anyway. You guys know I love my siblings. If you read this blog you know. If you don’t read it? Well I love them. Like. Immeasurably. But ANYWAY – today I’m here to talk about me. 🙂 🙂

Baaack to that story I mentioned. I was around 3 or 4 years old and my parents took me to the mall. Apparently I was misbehaving, while my mom was just trying to shop in peace. Imagine that? Kids never ever ever disrupt that magical shopping moment for their moms. {{side eye emoji}}. So yeah. I was being bad. My mom tells me that I’m not getting ANY treats. Dad can see she’s frustrated, so he volunteers to watch me while she shops in peace. Alone. Cue the heavens opening up and the chorus of angels singing. Well, mom heads off to solo shopping bliss. What does dad do? The most logical thing. He takes me straight to the ice cream shoppe at the food court. BUT he is sure to say to me (over and over…) “Don’t tell your mom we had ice cream!”.  Many hours later (hours? I don’t really know…if it were me..it would have been hours) my mom comes strolling toward us. What do I do? I start running toward her, sans any physical evidence of the ice cream – thanks to dad, yelling “Mommy, mommy….daddy got me ICE CREAM!!!”. Man. If I could just go back in time and see the look I know she shot my dad. Sigh. I can’t though. I’m sure it. was. good.

Why did I tell you that story? Didn’t the title say that we are talking about Mommy Confessions? Yeah, we are. We’re going to talk about all kinds of parent confessions in general. And just like my 3 (or 4?) year old self…I’m going to get some things off my chest. No sense in keeping all this bottled up. No one was hurt in the process. We’re going to dive into the nitty gritty of parenthood. Those things we do that we might be a little ashamed to admit, but we’re gonna put it all out there anyway. Why? So you can relate. So you can laugh. So you can know that you aren’t alone. And maybe you are a dad like mine in that story up there – who did something your spouse told you not to and yet you lived. You survived. You’ve made it to the other side and still have life in you to tell your tale. You told it and now those other dads feel a little better. That’s what we’re doing here.

Welcome to this fun little series.

Ok – since this post is already long…what with that introduction and all. And also. We were already doing some confessing for my dad. Let me just treat you to another Daddy Confession via the golden child, the first born, the one he calls Ashley on his behalf. (LOL) Once, when my mom was away (where? … I do not remember..  ) I was a teenage girl on her period. I was experiencing some major cramping. It hurt so bad that I actually told my dad what I was in pain. I say actually because I didn’t talk about my period back then. To anyone. Because – that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. Another story for another day though. So yeah. I told my dad I was hurting.

He’s like “Oh I have these muscle relaxers. Why don’t you just take a half of one.”

Me: “Will this make me sleepy??”

Him: “Nah.”

Me: “Ok.” {{takes and ingests the muscle relaxer}}.

……

Me: 18 hours later {{wakes up in another day .. very confused}}

 

I mean. I no longer felt my cramps. I didn’t feel anything. I was in a coma. It’s cool though. I lived. Thanks dad. 🙂

Well there you have it folks. Our very first session of Mommy Confessions. Let us know what you think? This is something that both Rhonda and I will be writing – SO make sure you keep an eye out for our future Mommy confessions.

 Have you ever done something to..or with…or around your kid that you are a little hesitant to admit? Come on. Tellllll us. It will feel good.