Date Your Partner

Dating is tricky and hard and fun and exciting and anxiety-inducing.  The last time I brought you dating tips, they were geared toward first dates.  If the first date goes well and things continue to progress, eventually you find yourself in a long-term relationship.  Honey, that is not where the work and the dating ends.  That is where it changes, but becomes even more important.

We hear it said all the time that relationships are hard work.  Sure, in a way…. but that work should be fun most of the time.  Dating your partner is part of the “work” we need to put into relationships.  This becomes more complicated when you have children, limited budgets, or heavy work schedules.  That’s why I’m here, friends… to give you some inspiration on dating the person with whom you share life.

Concerts. Going to see live music may not be the best choice for a first date, because you can’t get to know each other over booming speakers with drunk people bumping into you.  In an established relationship though, it can be so freeing to just let the music flow through you, to have a few drinks and just…vibe.  Thinking about the venue and seat choices can really make or break the experience.  Locally, we have a large venue that has cheaper lawn tickets.  Those allow for you to spread out a blanket and really relax or stand up and dance in your spot.  We also like to take advantage of a venue that has (pricey) suite seats, where the seats are in pairs and have plenty of space around them.  This fits every budget, because you can do anything from a hole in the wall bar with a jazz trio to a suite at an arena.  Choose a music act you both love, find seats that allow you to breathe, grab your partner’s hand, and let the music fill your heart.

Staycations.  When life has been busy and you haven’t had quality time with your partner in awhile, you can find yourself itching for a getaway.  There isn’t always time or money to hop on a plane and take a week (or even a weekend) trip.  Staycations are a great way to have a mini-getaway to reconnect. Drinks by the pool, dinner in the hotel restaurant, breakfast in bed….and let’s face it, hotel sex is just hot.  Choosing a walkable downtown area can provide lots of entertainment and dining options.  Going with a more resort-like location can mean the ultimate in relaxation.  Again, there’s something for every budget and also something for every timeframe.  Whether you can get away for one night or three, booking a nearby hotel is a great way to get the ultimate date night.

Brewery or winery visits.  If tasting and enjoying adult beverages is a part of your relationship like ours is, it is a natural choice to make a date of a brewery visit.  There are so many options these days for places where adult beverages are made.  Local craft breweries often have lawn games, trivia nights, live music, and more.  Some of them even partner with local restaurants and food trucks to bring culinary experiences to the brewery.  Wineries and even distilleries do similar things.  For a great date experience, you’ll want to first choose a place that has your favorite beverages, then look online for reviews so that you ensure you’re choosing a place with a fun vibe.  This is absolutely a low-cost date and if you are short on time, an hour or two is enough time to drink a beer flight and play a gigantic game of Jenga.

Getting out of the house is great, but sometimes, budget and child care concerns just don’t allow for it.  No worries, because some of our best date nights are right here in the house… sometimes with the kids home and sometimes without.

Romantic Night In.  Grill a nice steak, roast some asparagus, and pour a glass of wine.  Settling in for the evening can be done on any night of the week and if you have children, after they go to bed.  After dinner, flip off the lights and flip on the TV for some Netflix and chill (any definition of it you choose) with a bottle of wine.  Wrap up the night with a nice massage and some sexy time.  It really makes for the perfect night, even if it seems a bit cliché.

Backyard paradise.  Sure, it would be amazing to head off to a tropical paradise and sip cocktails in your private infinity pool.  That may not be an option for you on any given Friday evening, but there is another option.  Fill your inflatable kiddie pool with air and water early in the afternoon.  Turn on some string lights and bluetooth speakers.  By night, any kids are in bed and the water is warm.  With or without swimwear, you can now take a cocktail to the kiddie pool and enjoy the evening in your personal oasis.

No matter what you choose to do, having some time alone with your person is essential to maintaining and deepening your relationship.  Make it a priority and it will pay off.

Are any of these date ideas things you have done?  Did you get inspired to date your partner?

 

Five First Date Must-Haves

I am a huge fan of first dates – choosing an outfit, getting ready, that nervous first moment when you meet up or are picked up, hopefully great conversation, the awkwardness of whether to hug or kiss.  I don’t necessarily enjoy wondering if he will text back, but it’s all part of it.

I haven’t been on a first date (or any date for that matter) in a long time, but I have a lot of experience and am happy to share my expertise.

So what do you need for a first date?  There are five essentials I wouldn’t dare go on a date without.

  1. Your good underwear.  Now, I know what you’re thinking.  “I don’t do that on the first date.”  That’s fine.  I don’t either, in theory.  But I did once or twice.  It happens.  The thing is, wearing pretty and well-fitting underwear isn’t just in case you get undressed during your date.  Wearing nice and pretty matching underwear that fits like it was made for you boosts your confidence and makes you feel and act sexy.  I started wearing Soma Intimates exclusively last year and it changed the way I carry myself, whether I’m out running errands in cutoff shorts, out on a date in a lace dress, or getting naked.
  2. A Kiss-Proof Lipstick.  With any luck, you’ll get a first date kiss.  Don’t try to tell me you don’t kiss on the first date.  It’s a must.  Don’t waste a second date with a bad kisser.  Gross.  Anyway, I personally feel sexy in confident in a red lip, but don’t want to smear it on my partner’s face (or neck or…. anywhere).  Luckily, I’ve been using Lipsense most of this year and that problem is GONE.  You can ask my fiance, we are both big fans.  It doesn’t transfer to him (or on my glass).  You can hit me up on my Facebook group.  Our readers get 10% of their first orders!
  3. Breath Strips.  If you’re anything like me, you’re going to eat a nice steak with a garlic butter and your breath may not be amazing when the meal is done.  Or maybe you’re just on a date to a hole in the wall bar.  Beer breath is no bueno either.  No worries – excuse yourself to the restroom while the two of you are waiting for the check.  Pop a breath strip in your mouth and by the time you have washed your hands, it will have dissolved and your breath will be kissably fresh!
  4. A pre-date drink.  It doesn’t matter how much I am looking forward to a date or other event – I have ridiculous situational anxiety.  I will literally get sick in anticipation of things to come.  It’s not necessarily the alcohol that calms me as I do my hair and makeup, it’s the ritual.  Sipping on a drink (I tend to do bubbly or wine) while you blend your eyeshadow can really calm your nerves.  And well, if you do choose an alcoholic drink, you’re more likely to be yourself and a little more receptive to flirtation.  Just don’t go overboard.  You certainly don’t want to start a date drunk.
  5. A friend on SOS duty.  Look, you never know when a date is going to be a bust.  We should all be ladylike and mature enough to sit through and end a date that is a little awkward and boring, but never “tough out” a date with someone who is disrespectful or makes you truly uncomfortable.  You need a game plan.  Have a friend you can slip to the bathroom to text, who will text or call you in a few minutes with an emergency.  Be prepared with code words in case you should ever feel unsafe.  Dating is supposed to be fun, but never take for granted that your date is going to be a good guy.

 

What are your first date musts?  And I need to know, have you ever had to utilize an SOS text?