Here’s to you boo – 13 Things for My Best Betch

When you find someone that can be your person, you should never waste a chance to express your love for them. Especially when you feel like that person could use some extra love. Life is tough sometimes. We should always let the people that we love know just how much and why we love them. That’s what I’m doing today. Lasting friendships are hard to come by, and they don’t always look pretty – but they are the stuff dreams are made of. I saw a similar list while perusing Facebook..and just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to gear it toward my one and only Best Betch.

  1. The day I met you, my life changed for the better. I am forever grateful to have you as my best friend.
  2. When I’m drunk and profess my undying love for you, it’s not the booze, I really do love you that much.
  3. I know that you will always be there to tell me I have spinach in my teeth or help me get up when I’m white girl wasted and falling on the floor – you might snapchat it first…but you’ll eventually help me out. 😉
  4. I will never spill your secrets. And not just because you’ve got more dirt on me.
  5. While sleep is of the utmost importance to me…if I wake up at three am to a text from you – you know I’ll open it and reply right then and there. IF I wake up. 🙂 🙂
  6. Our ‘no judgement’ policy is seriously one of a kind. I know that I can be my true self in front of you, and I know that you’ll always love me. Even if you disagree.
  7. The way that you always make time for me is a precedent that I wish could be replicated in romantic relationships that I have. You will ALWAYS answer a text – even if there seems to be no actual call for a reply…I can count on a lol or emoji. And not hours later. No matter what crazy you have going on in your life, you make time to communicate with me.  
  8. Speaking of texts – knowing that you’ll never get tired of me sending memes … like literally everyday, multiple times a day – is friendship gold.
  9. I love you more than wine or coffee, but let’s hope I don’t ever have to actually make that choice.
  10. Life hasn’t always been easy – and I’m sure we have a lot more tough spots ahead – I’m glad we have each other to make those times easier.
  11. You pull me away from my comfort zone – and my life is always better for it.
  12. Your battles are my battles, your enemies are my enemies. Your boycotts are my boycotts – and I am secure in the blessed knowledge that you will never boycott bacon. Because as we’ve discussed – bacon makes everything better.
  13. Clearly we have a true friendship that is based on mutual love and respect. Because of that, when I die, I trust that you’ll delete my browser history, restore my phone to factory settings…..and well basically that you’ll erase all incriminating electronic footprints I’ve left behind.

The Story of My Tattoo : Ashley

When I went to Dallas this past weekend to see my amazing blogging partner, Rhonda, in an uncharacteristically spur of the moment decision (one that was for sure fueled by copious amounts of alcohol) I decided to get a tattoo. I know what you’re thinking. Well I do if you really know me or if you read  my “20 Things” post..  Ashley, I thought you didn’t do spontaneity? I don’t. And like I said I did have alcohol encouraging me. And honestly, I’ve been considering this tattoo for FOREVER. I’ve been writing it on my arm for months on end. I’d been putting off the exact time – kind of like you do with the first time you have sex. You want it to be beautiful, magical, perfect, at the right time, and with the right person. That’s way too much pressure. In both situations. Just unrealistic expectations. I love the way my tattoo happened. I was with one of my most favorite people. My nearest and dearest. She was there to hold my hand, and write the template for the words that are now forever written on my arm.

Why those words? Why that phrase? My dad actually said it once during a sermon. He was speaking about the sacrifice that Jesus made by dying on the cross for his followers. My dad was saying that Jesus is love. That Jesus is the ultimate representation of love because he chose to love those that did not deserve it and showed that love by sacrificing his life so that they may have everlasting (after)life. Now, I don’t believe in god – or that Jesus was the son of god. I think he was just a man. I do believe in what my dad said though.

Love is most certainly a choice. We are not forced to love anyone. Love for our children is not even something that is always automatic for people. There are plenty of men and women who walk away from their children and never look back. That is not love. We also do not “fall in love” with people. Romantically. I don’t believe in meant to bes and love at first sight. You may meet someone that you can’t get out of your head. It might be hard to stop thinking about them. You may even choose to love them when you know that you shouldn’t. Someone may make it known to you that they love you – and you find yourself wanting to love them back. Even when you may have never given them a second thought before. You can stop that though. Finding love. Loving someone. It’s just truly simple. You just make the choice. And for me. That revelation. The realization that I’m not bound by some mythical fairy tale elusive feeling or state of being – the realization that I can love whomever I chose to. That is so freeing.

When you are in a long term relationship – or when you have children, I think that you really experience and can recognize that love is a choice. You have to choose to love your partner daily. There are times that they do things that upset you, but you want to be with that person. So, you choose to love them. Not in spite of or despite the things they do – but because you want to. The same goes for our children. There are moments that those boogers make you just want to throw your hands up and walk away. But you don’t. Because you don’t want to. Those little humans give your life more meaning than you could have ever fathomed so you press on. You continue to choose to love them.

And equally as important as choosing to love someone – is to demonstrate that love through actions. That can be tricky. Sometimes the way we think is showing our love may not be a way that is recognized by the person we are attempting to show it to. You know – we all have different love languages. The point is. You can choose to love someone. You can tell that person that you are choosing to love them. You can say “I love you” over and over and over…but you need to follow that up with some demonstration. Some physical affection. Some other kind words in a moment of need. Some surprise gifts. Some thoughtful remembrances. Whatever the case may be. If Rhonda is the first one to start writing/editing a post that we are co writing, (like our OOTD posts) she will go ahead and insert my name and make it a heading for me. Why? Because she knows I hated dealing with html. That’s showing love people. Then she did the ultimate act of love by showing me a SHORTCUT to make my own headings without having to deal with html. 😉

Love is simple – but it’s multifaceted. You can love someone or something with never getting any love back. You can love someone and they can love you back – and that can be difficult at times. I just feel like though. If you keep it simple. If you make things basic. If you realize that Love is a Choice and An Action – you can always get back to where you want to be in your relationships and life. Sometimes that means walking away. Sometimes that means pressing on.

 

I got that phrase tattooed on my arm, because it’s a sentiment that I live by.

Week In Review: Ashley

Welll hey there party people. Yup it is week in review time…on a Tuesday…and super LATE on a Tuesday. But hey. That gave you guys all day to revel in Rhonda’s WIR…now it’s time to spend your night with me. 😉 Anyhow – let’s get to it!

I worked five days this past week. Shocker. I know. So there wasn’t too much going on throughout the week. Waking up. Surviving the tornado that is the everyday grind of getting myself and two kids ready to leave the house on time. One day I will be that mom that wakes up hours before her children and is all calm and collected as I allow them to leisurely wake up, eat a big relaxed breakfast, and get dressed in a calm and cool manner….. JK That will never be me. I mean. I aim to get close to that – but I’ll never be that mom. #notamorningperson This is what a lot of our evenings looked like…chill:

And there was some lego playing…

So yeah. To the weekend. The THREE DAY weekend. Saturday we woke up and lounged around the house.  Did some chores. Played with the wildlings. We went outside for a bit and blew some bubbles. How an innocent activity like bubble blowing could turn into something that involved baths afterwards…I have not clue. But it did. There were screaming kids – and hair washing … THEN they took a nap. After the nap, we got dressed and headed to the park in downtown OS. We ended the day with a trip to Target.

OH! And on Saturday these beauties came in the mail. {{all the heart eyes}}

Sunday started out much like Saturday. Chores and chilling – then we got dressed and went over to Grammy and Ppop’s!! They had been on vacation and the kids hadn’t seen them in two weekends…so needless to say those two littles were over the moon with excitement to get over there. As soon as Coopy found out where we were going – he started asking to stay the night. LOL He did. Of course. 🙂 And so that night Sophie and I went out to eat with Daddy at Patio 44 in Biloxi. It was so good.

Memorial Day we went back over to my parent’s. There was lots of relaxing. Forcing an unwilling daughter to take selfies with me. Some pool time. Grilling that resulted in yummy food. Chilling. Shopping. Naps. You know. The best of times. 🙂

What did you guys do this past week? How was your Memorial Day? I hope you got to spend the day with loved ones…and also spend a little time remembering those military service members who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms. We may not all always agree on the political state of our country. Things are in turmoil here on the home front lately. BUT I feel like we can always agree – that under whatever circumstances – those men and women who died while in active duty serving our country in the military are worth being remembered for that. Because I know I’d never sign up for that. I know that life is a big sacrifice. And losing your life in the process – well that is an unimaginable sacrifice.

And now to end on a lighter note…I will leave you with some of my meme spoils from the week. It was hard to narrow them down to just four. But you know. I don’t want to overload you. 😉

 

Melodramatic Birthday Post – Ashley

You guys – it’s Spring. I always say this time of year (March to the beginning of May) is like another Christmas season. There are sooo many birthdays and then throw in Mother’s Day to end the whole shabang. So I’m here to finally talk about my little birthday that occurred last week…and do some rambling….hope you’re all in on this one.  😉

Ok, so… let’s talk about 32. My birthday was last week. Last Tuesday – at 10pm I officially turned thirty-two years old. Honestly, I haven’t even given the number much thought. Yeah, I definitely feel like I’ve reached the point where I wouldn’t mind being able to stop time for a little while. You know – stay young longer. I’ve noticed differences in my body and mindset due to aging. Generally though – I’m at peace with my age. So, why am I here blabbing on and one about it? Well I did want to take some time to reflect. Think about where I’ve been … and where I want to be. I’ve always been the type of person that lived more in the future. I always look forward to where I’m going, what type of person I’ll be in ‘x’ amount of months or years… And overall, I’m really happy with where I am now. In this 32 year old life of mine. 😉

I made the comment the other day that I really wish I knew as much about taking care of my body and had the confidence in myself that I do now when I was younger. I am and always have been a super quiet and shy person. I think I’ve mentioned before how I’m socially awkward…not just in person. Ask Rhonda. It even takes a lot for me to interact virtually…. BUT I’ve come such a long way. My highschool and twenty something self didn’t think much of herself much less take any extra time to take care of her mind and body.

Weight was always an issue that I struggled with. The size of my body was something that always made me feel inferior, not attractive, not worth getting to know. I think it is so great now that there are plus sized super models or just plus sized celebrities and public figures who are letting it be known that size does not determine beauty of self worth. I try to flood my social media timelines with women like this. Women who are larger than average, and who are so so confident in themselves. I try to make a conscious effort to compliment my children – not just on their physical appearance. I try to say things like “ Oh my god…you are sooooo cute… and such a sweet baby.” I encourage my son to interact with other children. When he approaches other kids at the park and they don’t want to play with him. Of course, he comes running back to me. I tell him, “That’s ok. Find someone else to play with.” I try to teach him and demonstrate to him that rejection stings but we can move on from that. I want my daughter to be confident in her body and not afraid to wear whatever she wants. I want my son to be confident in his body and to not be afraid to wear whatever the hell he wants. I don’t want them to doubt themselves. I don’t want them to be afraid to make new friends or approach new people – because they worry about the reaction they will receive.  Because I lived that way for so long. I still struggle with that. I’m working on it. And I’ll keep working on it. 😉

Over the past 3 years I’ve made major changes in the way I eat and think about food. I lost a ton of weight….gained some back during and after being pregnant with Sophie…and am now back – less those extra pounds. Rhonda introduced me to the NSNG (No Sugar No Grains) Lifestyle that was coined, preached, and demonstrated by Vinnie Tortorich. Eating clean. Cutting out the majority of the sugar and grains in my diet. Those things have made me a physically and mentally healthier person. I know that it has made me a better mom. When you cut the crap out from  your diet, you don’t have to worry so much about the amount that you eat. You don’t have to restrict yourself to teeny tiny meals in the hopes of losing a few pounds. AND you don’t just lose weight. You gain healthier hair, nails, skin, mental clarity, energy, and on and on and on. Something else really important that I gained? Confidence in myself. Confidence in my body. Confidence that does not hinge on someone else’s opinion of me. Confidence that is due to my new opinion of myself.

I can look back … ten … or even fifteen years ago – and where I am now? That’s not where I thought I’d be. But you know, I’m ok with that. I had this disillusioned idea of what I thought life should look like at 32. And for a long time – those aspirations and goals that I set when I was a teenager – the fact that I hadn’t gotten to or reached those goals used to really haunt me. It used to make me feel … like I hadn’t accomplished anything   at all. Which is complete crap. I’ve accomplished a lot. Because listen. It’s ok to change your path. It’s ok to quit something that no longer holds any meaning for you. It’s ok to change your mind. I am a better person now. I’m not perfect. I still have a lot of work to do. BUT I am thankful the place I am at. 🙂 For me, feeling accomplished is no longer about marking off big achievements or reaching momentous goals. It’s not about having a list of things that I can say “LOOK at all the things I’ve checked off!!”. For me I try to feel accomplished in my every day. I look to my future with anticipation and excitement for things to come; however, I relish the here and now. I focus on the people in my life. I think about what can I do in the next few minutes to make something happen. I want to “Be here, now.” I don’t want to look back and think…. I wish I would have enjoyed that moment more…while it was happening.

I think 32 is going to be great. I don’t wake up with any dread of what I may face that day. My family is healthy and happy…and so am I. I really like my daytime job, and I am so happy to have this little blog space that I get to share with my best friend. I am so grateful that each of you come by to check in on us…see what we have to say. 🙂 I’m excited for our future, but I’m loving this. This right here. This moment. :):)