Hey y’all, and welcome back to another installment of Mommy Confessions. This is where we talk about things that we do…thoughts we have.. things we don’t do…as mothers…that are not usually widely accepted. I mean. It’s what we do. This is Rage Against the MOMachine..is it not? 😉
Ok, so Ashley here today to spill the beans on one of my Mommy Confessions. Are you dying to know? Are you sitting on the edge of your seat?
Alright. Alright. WHAT is it you say?
Here’s the thing. I don’t censor myself in front of my kids. Specifically I don’t censor my language which is what I’m here to mainly talk about today. However, I don’t censor much of anything. I don’t censor my body. I don’t censor the music I listen to. I don’t censor conversations I have around them (unless it’s a surprise for them – or something that would just hurt them). I definitely don’t censor my opinion.
Before I became a parent and even during those first few months of Cooper’s life – I felt like at some point I’d have to start giving up all those things I listed above. I’d have to watch the words I use, because heaven forbid he says a curse word. I thought that basically I’d have to not be myself in front of my kids. The thing is… That’s crazy. I know that as they grow their view of me will change. They will lose that childlike innocence that they see everything and everyone through; however, I don’t want them to be in middle school or high school and wake up one day and realize that I’m not actually the person I portrayed myself to be in front of them.
I know that we all have different value and belief sets. I know that language I use or behaviors I exhibit may not be acceptable under someone else’s set of values or beliefs. I’m not here to shame you because you don’t cuss in front of your kids or let them listen to music with mature lyrics. I’m just saying that in my household, those things are non issues. So why would I censor that?
Cooper recently picked up the word ‘fucking’. I know exactly where he heard it. I use it. I don’t use it in a derogatory manner. I don’t use it in reference to it’s sexual meaning in front of him. I use it as an expletive. Maybe we’re behind someone driving frustratingly slow..I might says “Geez why are you going so fucking slow?” I don’t use it all the time. He picked it up though. He uses it just like I do. At first I didn’t even really acknowledge it – other than to ask him why he said it. We were sitting in the Target parking lot and there was this huge very nice white pickup sitting across from us in the parking lot. Cooper says, “Mommy!! Will you just look at that fucking truck?!” He was in awe of it. It WAS a nice looking truck. I think a legitimate use of the word …right? 🙂
Anyway, I told everyone I was ok with it. I told his grandparents that if they didn’t want him using that word in their homes – to tell him just that. I DIDN’T want anyone making a huge ordeal over it. Drawing attention to his use of that word. I didn’t want anyone to give that word more power than it should have.
For a while it was just here and there that he used it. Then all of a sudden it seemed like he was using it every single day. Just to describe things. On the Fourth of July he was looking out the window at his Uncle Shane’s new lawnmower and said, “Look at that new fucking lawn mower.” Why? Because he was impressed by it.
He’s going to school now, and he needs to know socially accepted use of language and behaviors. Also, even though I have no problem with the use of the word fuck…I don’t want to hear it in every single sentence. From anyone. So I started just suggesting other words. He asked me why I did that. I let him know that there was nothing wrong with the word fucking…but isn’t it boring to use the same word to describe everything you’re excited by? He agreed. He’s a pretty smart four year old .. 😉
The bottom line is… I can’t be a hypocrite. I can’t use words that I’m telling my children to not use. So I don’t do that.