I hear it all the time from parents and I am willing to bet that either you or one of your friends has said it.
“We don’t have time to have sex. We have small kids.”
Get the fuck out of here with that. That is a bullshit excuse.
Yeah, I hear you. You are sooo busy. Guess what? Everyone is busy, but you make time for things that are important to you. I’m too busy to feed my kids, but I know they need to eat, so I do it anyway.
Your kids don’t go to bed until 9, which is also about the time your husband falls asleep watching ESPN? Cool. It’s time to have a conversation with him. Have you tried that yet?
Maybe it’s the one hour of the day that you’re going to see your husband, because your schedules just don’t align. Girl, hand those kids some tablets and lock yourselves in the closet if you have to. It probably won’t take long.
A friend of mine, at the ripe old age of 24 and parent of one child, told me, “My wife and I have sex about once a month. There just isn’t time and we are tired.” No, no, no. Just no.
Sex is so damn important in a long-term relationship and I am here to tell you this – your marriage will not survive without some nurturing. I am a firm believer that a marriage or partnership should be prioritized over what the children want. Note that I said WANT. I am not advocating starving your kids or skipping diaper changes so you can bang your spouse or cuddle in your bedroom. What I am saying is you have to be honest with yourselves and realize you just aren’t making the time for one another….and when that happens, things go downhill.
Look, I homeschool 4 kids and work from home. My fiance works 14-hour days. Guess who is having sex a lot? That would be us.
- We lock the damn door.
- We put our phones away when we get in bed.
- We don’t limit ourselves to bedtime. A Saturday afternoon during an obnoxious YouTube video works great, especially when you’ve had mimosas all morning.
- We just GO for it. Sometimes one of us is super sleepy and clearly not in the mood, but we strip off our clothes and go for a good kiss.
- We stay intimate in every way. Once that is lost, it’s hard to get back..not impossible, but hard. So we tell each other our dreams and secrets and we hug a lot and hold hands in the store. We laugh a lot and goodness, we drink so well together. Drinks never hurt.
- I take care of myself. For some women, this isn’t as important. For me, I feel so much sexier and in the mood when I have on a gorgeous red lip and a satin robe or a dress. If I am constantly in leggings and a ponytail when he comes home from work, I will never feel hot.
Tonight, put on something pretty, lock the damn door and go for it.