We are going to save his ass before he’s up hers

We start off this episode picking up at the end of the fight from last week ….supposedly Cary had said Brandi’s doctor killed people on the operating table.  Brandi swears Cary said that and Cary swears it’s made up.

Stephanie gets asked about her new house and Cary mentions she thinks it’s the same distance to the schools as the current house and Stephanie said it is closer to Cruz’s.  Then she gets emotional about his Dyslexia and now i’m emotional, not just because I relate to her struggle but because it is lovely to see the other moms supporting and comforting her.  No matter what differences people have, motherhood tends to bring women together.

A plan has been concocted by Brandi and Stephanie to try and get a room key to LeeAnne and D’Andra’s room to look for Sexual Chocolate, the dildo from last week that embarrassed Kameron.  Brandi says in the confessional that “We are going to save his ass before he’s up hers.”  Dying.  The plan, consisting of pretending to be LeeAnne and D’Andra, works and they find it under LeeAnne’s pillow, of all places.  I have to say though, my favorite part of this whole plan is how Stephanie keeps eating off their uneaten room service plates.

 

The ladies go out for an afternoon of boating with an open bar.  It’s super windy with rough waters.   There is plenty of drama and all the same old shit from the ENTIRE SEASON keeps being rehashed.  It comes out that LeeAnne said Mark gets his dick sucked at The Round Up and obviously Cary is livid.

Brandi whips out the dildo again.  Kameron literally leaves the boat out of embarrassment.  She says Brandi is trashy and that she doesn’t respect Stephanie either.

But y’all – the sneak peek for next week’s episode was amazing.  I can’t wait to come back and see what drama I can be annoyed about.

RHOD: Gigantic Wine Glasses

I have been in love with the Real Housewives for many years and have given each city’s version a try.  My top 5 are:

5. New Jersey

4. Beverly Hills

3. New York

2. OC

1. Dallas!!!  I was into it before I even moved to the DFW, but now that I live here, I have a brand new appreciation for these ladies and can’t wait to see what the season brings. So here we are, at the start of the second season.

Let’s see what fuckery is unfolding this episode.

Stephanie starts us out with talking about her dog Biscuit.  She says he really likes running around with her panties in his mouth, like Travis.  Um, ok Stephanie…that’s one image I didn’t need to have.

Kameron is a new cast member this season.  She is super wealthy (like everyone on this show but this is on another level) and hangs out with Cary.  We learn from Kameron that she plays the role of the dumb blonde in her life because she doesn’t want people to know how smart she is. Kameron’s mom is an amazing cook and Kameron is trying to learn. She came from California to Texas to go to college at SMU.  She married her nerd spirit animal basically and they live in Highland Park (super exclusive area, for those of you not in  DFW) in a 7500 sq ft house.  Also, she has an idiotic pink dog food idea and that’s all you need to know about that.

Cary is planning her husband Mark’s birthday party and has decided she will invite LeeAnne, who has been known to cause a lot of drama and exhibit major anger issues.  Later in the episode, we see Cary and LeeAnne go to the park and talk about their issues from last season.  They also discuss Brandi and Stephanie.

LeeAnne is in anger management therapy and has really been trying to work on herself, so Brandi has has also been giving her a chance.  They have been getting much closer because…..

FREAKING BRANDI AND STEPHANIE are not on speaking terms.  (This is where I started crying.) Stephanie says she doesn’t know why brandi is giving her the cold shoulder.  I don’t know either.  I don’t know if I missed something or the show is dragging this storyline out and intentionally leaving out details.  They did both reveal that they have struggled balancing their marriages and friendship and that both have gotten closer to their husbands when they aren’t basically married to each other.

We are introduced to another new cast member, D’andra, when she meets with leann for dinner.  D’andra grew up privileged, met her husband who  had kids from a previous marriage.  He is former military and a photojournalist and their home is decorated in a very eclectic style, which I totally relate to.  It’s refreshing to see their house isn’t the same untouchable style as a lot of Housewives’ homes.

Back at Stephanie’s home, Travis brings home presents for the kids.   We hear how while their marriage has gotten better since Stephanie and Brandi stopped hanging out, but Bryan, Brandi’s husband, wants them to all hang out together again.

Brandi tells us that she feels like Stephanie pulled away from their friendship to make herself more available for the Dallas social scene.

At Mark’s birthday party, there such a cold and uncomfortable greeting between Brandi and Stephanie.  It’s sad and cringeworthy.  Also, they are drinking out of gigantic wine glasses and damn, I should have gotten a picture of that shit.

Then freaking LeeAnne keeps interrupting when Stephanie wants to set up a time to talk to Brandi.  LeeAnne acts like she is her damn manager.  Stephanie and Brandi are both crying messes and I just really want them to be back together.  I kind of can’t take it.

 

Fix it, Jesus.  Fix it all.  It’s going to be a good season though!  Tell me, did you watch it?  What did you think?  Will you be tuning in and discussing with me next week?